By Adeola Agoro
As an agony aunt, I try to approach sensitive matters with balance and restraint. The new marriage of Bishop Olutayo, formerly of Glad Tidings will not be an exception.
I sincerely hope the former wife does not come out to speak, not because she has no right to but because it may open doors to an episode of drama that none of us truly needs.
Bishop Olutayo has stated that he has never been married. What he means by that is unclear to the public. That interpretation is something both parties can ultimately clarify in a court of law, especially if issues of property, assets or other entitlements arise.
However, where two people have lived together as husband and wife for 33 to 35 years, cohabited openly and have been generally referred to and accepted as such by society, the law often recognises this as a presumption of marriage. Whether formal vows were taken or not becomes secondary in such circumstances.
As for the new wife, celebration may be premature. She has inherited far more than a husband; she has inherited a complex web of friends, enémies, expectations and unspoken histories.
Those who once saw the former wife as a barrier may now test her boundaries and assuming that they can get access and familiarity they never had before through her. Those opposed to the marriage may deliberately give her shege, constantly pointing out what she is doing wrong. Nothing she does may ever seem good enough.
She may find herself constantly trying to be the acceptable version of a wife and an edited continuation of the former one. That kind of pressure is exhausting.
With time, she may also begin to discover habits, traits and realities she was previously unaware o about her man. Marriage has a way of revealing what courtship carefully conceals.
So, perhaps the wisest thing for now is patience. Let time speak. Let dust settle.
As for me, I am sipping my tea laced with lemon and honey and observing quietly and not thinking too much about it.